Wait? News Corp illegally obtained phone numbers of dead soldiers’ families to eavesdrop on their calls and harass them after their sons and daughters died fighting to protect the very laws said company was breaking with impunity while promoting a political agenda of moral superiority?
It can’t be true. My dad watches News Corp’s Fox News programming and he said they’re fair and balanced. This is probably just an isolated incident contained and separate from any of News Corp’s other subsidiaries. Fox News couldn’t have been lying to my dad and making a mockery of our freedom of press the same way as News of the World. It would be insane to think that all these years Fox News was acting with the same impunity in the very sovereign mine and my dad’s forefathers died fighting to protect.
I got worked up once and told my dad that Fox News was lying but he set me back straight. I showed him evidence of Fox editing clips from different year’s footage of like events to misinform the public to make a certain person or party seem other than the unedited footage would make them seem, but it was heresy and I came to my senses. I had a silly little moral dilemma whereby I thought to myself: how can a news organization manipulate the news to give me information that flies in the face of truth? What could be wrong with the truth and wouldn’t a news organization be held to the truth by way of the law? I saw some more sites and TV shows dedicated to exposing the same lies I thought I was seeing, but it turns out it’s all a big elitist conspiracy by them damn book readers and secular academics. Thank goodness dad set me straight and I saw through all that and came home to roost.
I needed some corroboration for these crazy thoughts that were again creeping into my head because of this story unfolding on July 11, 2011 and thought i’d do some fact checkin’ of my own. I checked foxnews.com’s website on July 11, 2011 and searched the HTML of every individual page on their entire site for the words: Murdoch, News of the World, and News Corp and knew the story couldn’t be true when I couldn’t get a single match to those keywords. So it must not be that big-a-deal. I mean if it were really newsworthy that News Corp funded criminals were pissing on the laws of our allies with impunity, surely I’d be able to find those keywords on the most read news website in the world. I mean, those laws were in the UK anyway and they’ve got nothing to do with News Corp’s actions in the USA.
Finally, I searched using Fox News’ search function and turned up four hits. That’s weird I thought: I just searched every page on the site individually for the exact same key words and couldn’t find a story, then when I used the search function on the home page, I turned up four hits for each of the same keywords. Good thing I wasn’t just a regular ol’ Fox News friend browsing the site and knew exactly what I was looking for, ’cause shucks I wouldn’t have found that story. I was surprised the story wasn’t more obvious on foxnews.com because I saw Rupert Murdoch on a different news station and he was in London closing down the News of the World organization and pulling over $4 billion USD out of his bid to buy Sky News in order to shore up a stock buyback of over $5 billion USD for News Corporation as the share price plummetted amid these ugly and unfair allegations. I was having trouble reconciling these stories for a moment, but then I remembered that Fox News is Fair & Balanced and it’s best just to trust them.
I ended up reading the story from Fox News’ website and it turns out it wasn’t so bad, the liberal media was just spinning things to sound worse than they are. It sounds like their Fair & Balanced motto is going to shake off this latest mainstream media witch hunt propaganda baloney. I’m reassured now that Fox News wouldn’t lie to me or my dear ol’ dad. Thanks Rupert; for lookin’ out for dad & me.
…and for goodness’ sake…pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
Unthinkable respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.